Half Man Half Biscuit – F**kin’ ‘ell, It’s Fred Titmus (1985)

Needing to break the Wu-Tang spell, what better antidote than a classic piece of indie rock from 1985.

For colleagues of “a certain age”, Half Man Half Biscuit’s debut LP “Back in the DHSS” retains a very special place. Along with this track, there are odes to Len Ganley (then a leading snooker referee … that counted as celebrity before t’internet), a definitive reading of the Chigley theme tune (ask your mum and dad if need be) and sly takes on rock classics: Iggy Pop’s “Nightclubbing becomes “Sealclubbing” and the Velvet Underground surely never wrote about “Venus in Flares”.

Later, Half Man Half Biscuit would pen “Dickie Davies’ Eyes”, “I Left My Heart in Papworth General” and “All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit”. And got older and bleaker like the rest of us.

This track is a near flawless, factual account of the great Fred Titmus’ career. An off spinner and good lower order bat, Fred is the only cricketer to have played first class cricket in five separate decades. This despite losing some toes in a motorboat accident while on tour with the England cricket team in the West Indies in the last 1960s. 

Off you go chaps …